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GIRLS THAT ARE WOGZ ARE HOT

What Not To Put On Your Application For Employment NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise. SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

A Medical Problem An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week." Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?" "Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

its a good movie but the think is wrong with it is when they kill em right it blood on em but on the floor its cleen as

id think its a bad idiea caus e alot of little kids are diying

i wouldnt mind gay people getting married

theres a new xbox 360 coming out called xbox 360 elid it has 160gig memery i herad its better then ps3 its gonna be black

id try to play guitar but i was crap its easy to play keyborad

id think : the day my bum went sikow

cat and dog

wrx or skyline in a-class id pick farrari

THE world's most famous soccer club has offered nine-year-old Brisbane whiz kid Rhain Davis a shot at stardom. Rhain has been invited to join Manchester United's famed academy, the breeding ground of current Red Devils' star Ryan Giggs and 1966 World Cup-winning England hero Bobby Charlton. The young midfield general, who played for the under 10 development squad at Redlands United, caught the attention of United scouts on a DVD passed on to the club by his England-based grandfather. Rhain, who holds a British passport, was soon on a plane to Britain and according to mother Leah, "won't be back". Instead, Mrs Davis, her husband Mark, and their two other children Emerson and Reeve will re-locate to Manchester. "It's for family and business reasons," she said. Mrs Davis said Rhain had hardly taken off his Manchester United's shirt since being given the football chance of a lifetime. "It's been awesome so far," Rhain said from Manchester last night. "The best part has been getting to meet a lot of the players." Rhain now counts among his "friends" United stars Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney and Wes Brown and includes Ronaldo in his nightly prayers. The United academy starts at under nines, with the club deciding by the under 12 stage whether to offer players a full-time scholarship. Diana Patchett, who has guided Rhain during his school soccer career at Moreton Bay Boys College, has no doubt her star pupil was on track to earn a scholarship. "He is so well-balanced on the ball," Mrs Patchett said. "His ability to shield the ball in a tight space is extraordinary for someone of his age."

dj sammy , fantasy project , dj alex and lots more

type in your fav muzic il start of Crazy baby by fantasy project

firefox

im trying to leran hot to make games looking for a tutorial when i find one ill post it up

microsoft explorer and firefox

id think brodband im not sure about cable but dielup is very bad it takes like ages to open a page brodband 2secs

i agree with ajking that was a great story

4 Sons These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. "My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift." The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norm's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift." The third man's son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift. As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in. "To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chico's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."

$200 Bucks It Is... A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. " Hi, is Tony home?" " No, he went to the store." "Well, you mind if I wait?" " No, come in." They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together." Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over. " Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

The Cable Guy When I was 12 or 13 my father had cable service added to the upstairs for myself and my siblings. The guy was able to install everything just fine, but when it came to hooking up the cable to the tv with a VCR, Nintendo, and Super Nintendo attached, the guy was clueless. He said he'd come back to it while he put the cable box in my sister's room. He came back not 5 minutes later to find me happily playing video games. He said "How did you do that?" My reply: I'm the kid. Never trust an adult to fiddle with electronics." And to think I almost worked for them years later...

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