ipoddude Posted April 2, 2005 Share Posted April 2, 2005 Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note: these are all numbered "1" on purpose. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up. You need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. ( Was he aiming for America! I think NOT!!) 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve or puce may be. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I AM in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korps Commander Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 This seems like a chain letter.................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majazac Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 This is just so terrible... Why not try to find a middle term among the two? BTW... Toilet seat up is discusting... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korps Commander Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Obviously, ipoddude's post is a joke................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myscrnnm Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up. You need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. ( Was he aiming for America! I think NOT!!) 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve or puce may be. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I AM in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. 1. Is it too much 4 us males 2 do the girls a favour once in a while?! God****! 1. We don't have 2 watch sports on Sundays! Just use a DVR and watch it later! Or use another television! 1. Shopping can b a sport. Walking through a mall all day can be grueling. I was once at an open shoppin centre in Las Vegas and by the end of the day I was sweating! 1. Crying is not blackmail, and if it is, then we males might as well do it too, cuz it's not gonna change anytime soon. 1. Hints can work, maybe u just can't take a hint. I can describe people who can't take a hint with one word: ignorant. 1. Do I sense a stereotype here? Both sexes use yes and no as answers. 1. What? A male can't b sympathetic? If we can't, it just shows that we r psychotic and emotionless. 1. U don't need a doctor4 a ****ing headache! Use some aspirin, I know girls who do. 1. U can't just make a rule like that. I mean, even men use years-old quotes. 1. When u say other one, do u mean the former or the latter? Honestly, u r making us males look stupid here. 1. Sometimes a man needs 2 help a woman. Would it b too much 2 do a favour once in a while?! 1. If there is a person standing behind u with a gun pointed at your head, would u b so certain that u want a girl 2 tell u after the commercials start? 1. People with a bad sense of direction need directions, and even people with a good sense of direction sometimes need directions. If u ned them, just ask 4 them! That's why the navigation system and the GPS were invented 4! 1. Peach, Pumpkin, mauve, and puce may not b colours, but they r nonetheless hues. And not ALL men c only 16 colours. For Christ's sake! I am colourblind and I c more than 16 colours! 1. How heartless of u. 1. I thinki the females can figure that out 4 themselves. 1. What if u r going out 4 dinner and your girlfriend decides 2 wear a birth control patch? and only a birth control patch. 1. That is so stereotypical. I am a male and I hate monster trucks. If a woman asked me what I was thinking, and I were 2 reply with something about monster trucks, it would only be negative. I can talk about other stuff, and if one man can, than any other man can. 1. What if she grows out of the clothes eh? 1. Sometimes u need different shoes 4 different activities. 1. There is more than one definition of shape. "In shape" in this case means: to be physically healthy with a good physiche [sic]. 1. Maybe the females know that we don't mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korps Commander Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 I agree with myscrnnm's subtle hint. Ipoddude's list had MANY things in it that were wrong (and stereotypical)....................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myscrnnm Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 I agree with myscrnnm's subtle hint. Ipoddude's list had MANY things in it that were wrong (and stereotypical)....................... I think that all of the things in teh list were wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korps Commander Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 "I am in shape. Round is a shape" That, I think, was a pure joke...... "When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really." I doubt anyone would wear only a birth control patch......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myscrnnm Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 "When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really." I doubt anyone would wear only a birth control patch......... It's not probable, but it's possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korps Commander Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Some possibilities should not even be considered.............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GameClaw_268 Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 You guys are missing the point that this is a joke, it doesn't relate to real life, and he probably found it somewhere off the internet. Its probably not what happens in real life. Why do you think its in a joking forum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korps Commander Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 I know, but if those jokes are stereotypical, then they are not very good jokes - of course, it IS funny, but at the same time it is sexist. Ok, fine, lets get back on topic about the joke........................ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awesomegamer Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 This is just so terrible... Why not try to find a middle term among the two? BTW... Toilet seat up is discusting... would you ladys take the chance of us missing and p***ing on the seat? or would you wrather us miss and p*** on the part none of us use Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhoenixFlame512 Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 This is just so terrible... Why not try to find a middle term among the two? BTW... Toilet seat up is discusting... would you ladys take the chance of us missing and p***ing on the seat? or would you wrather us miss and p*** on the part none of us use I think it would just be better if all of us aimed right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GameClaw_268 Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 I can... but you could tell that to my little brother... I swear, whenever I have to take a dump after he's been in there, I have to sit in 2ft of water... or something like it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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