Best Tech Support Ever

[Sungazer]

I just dug this out of an email my aunt sent me a long time ago...

 

This guy should have been promoted, not

fired. This is allegedly a true phone call from the WordPerfect

Help Line which was transcribed from a recording

monitoring the Customer Care Department. Needless to say the

Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently

suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without

Cause." This is actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect

Customer Support employee. Now you know why they record these

conversations!

 

 

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

 

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

 

"What sort of trouble?"

 

 

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words

went away."

 

"Went away?"

 

"They disappeared."

 

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

 

"Nothing."

 

"Nothing?"

 

"It's blank, it won't accept anything when I type."

 

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

 

"How do I tell?"

 

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

 

"What's a sea-prompt?"

 

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

 

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I

type."

 

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

 

"What's a monitor?"

 

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does

it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the

power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

 

"Yes, I think so."

 

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged

into the wall."

 

"Yes, it is."

 

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there

were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

 

"No."

 

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find

the other cable."

 

"Okay, here it is."

 

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the

back of your computer."

 

"I can't reach."

 

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

 

"No."

 

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way

over?"

 

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's

because it's dark."

 

"Dark?"

 

"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window."

 

"Well, turn on the office light then."

 

"I can't."

 

"No? Why not?"

 

"Because there's a power failure."

 

"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and

packing stuff your computer came in?"

 

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

 

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just

like it was when you got it. Then take it back to

the store you bought it from."

 

"Really? Is it that bad?"

 

"Yes, it is."

 

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

 

"Tell them you're too [bleeped!] stupid to own a computer."

 

[phoexer]

Hmm.

 

He handled it pretty well. I would have swore a whole lot more than that.

[Doctor Steel]

Dude, if you think that's funny, Click Here. There are literally OODLES of stories like this... I found it years ago, and thought it was the funniest thing in the world.