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Posted

Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son.

 

The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long before we can have secs?"

 

The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14."

Posted

I know,

That's what makes it so funny.

 

here's a qick one just so I dont start a new topic:

Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?

A: His hand caught fire.

 

LMAO :lol:

Posted

ahahha those were great! i especially like the pinocchio one...hahahahha

Posted

MICHAEL JACKSON'S GREATEST HITS (Thanks to RangerJim93)

Volume 1

Side One

1. Reach out and TOUCH Someone

2. Hey, there, Predator

3. Touch Me Once, Touch Me Twice, Touch Me Once Again

4. The Best Toys are Little Boys

5. The WACKO Touch

Side Two

1. Theme from Peter Pervert

2. He TOUCHED Me

3. He Let His Fingers Do the Walking (In Private Places)

4. Come Open My FLY With Me

5. Theme from Woody The Pecker

Volume 2

Side One

1. Feeler

2. Put Your Hand in The Pants of Michael Jackson

3. Peter Pervert

4. The Boy Who Made Me Throw Up

5. Beat it and Eat It

Side Two

1. Full Moon at High Noon

2. I'm Dropping My Drawers Over You

3. I'm A Pervert

4. I'm Queer, I'm Not All Here

5. Groping the World

THE BEAST (BEST) OF MICHAEL JACKSON

Side One

1. It Was Masturbation

2. Feelings

3. Dance of the Pedophiles

4. Molesters' March

5. That Queer Old Feeling

Side Two

1. Meat Beater's Lament

2. Jack Off Jive

3. Those Roving Fingers

4. NUTcracker Suite

5. Peter Pervert's Theme

 

Michael Jackson and Pee Wee Herman are have come out with a new video called... "I'll beat it for you."

 

Q: Which chips does Michael Jackson like to munch on?

A: O'Boysies.

 

 

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

A: "Feel the World."

 

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song?

A: "Don't let your son go down on me."

 

Rumor has it that Michael Jackson is in Switzerland undergoing cosmetic surgery on his pecker.

Then the description the California Justice Dept got from the little boy won't fit anymore.

Another rumor has it that he's finally going all the way and changing gender entirely.

 

Michael Jackson first wanted to look like Diana Ross, then a white person, now he wants to be A ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIEST.

 

Q: What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme?

A: Little Boy Blew.

 

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Little Boy Blue.

Little Boy Blue who?

Michael Jackson.

 

Q: What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

A: "The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"

 

Q: What did Michael Jackson say when a boy in a car mooned him going down the road?

A: "I'll be there!"

 

If you play thriller backwards, you can hear Michael confessing all the names of the boys he touched. That's why it is 14 minutes long.

 

Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song?

A: "And then he touched me"

 

I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "[bleeped!] kids!", and it played Michael Jackson.

 

Q: Why does Michael Jackson have a tough guy reputation?

A: He has licked every kid possible.

 

Michael Jackson's found a way to stymie that L.A. search warrant:

He's invited Lorena Bobbitt over.

 

Q: What did Michael Jackson say to Lorena Bobbit?

A: "SILLY Bobbit! Dicks are for KIDS!"

 

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Miss Bobbit have in common?

A: They both played with little wieners.

 

Q: Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?

A: He ate a nine year old wiener!

 

Q: Did you hear Micheal Jackson was found dead?

A: He got food poisoning from an 11 year old wiener.

 

Q: Why did Michael Jackson get kicked out of the school cafeteria?

A: Because he ate all the kids' wieners.

 

Q: What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision?

A: Foreplay.

 

Q: What do Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common?

A: Both get turned on by kids!!!

 

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

A: They both leave little boys' rooms with empty sacks.

 

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Dr. Spock have in common?

A: They both know how to rear a child.

 

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan have in common?

A: They both play ball in the Minor League.

 

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan?

A: One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors.

 

Q: Why's Michael trying out for the NBA?

A: He's a crack shooter.

 

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

A: One was the first man to walk on the moon, and the other f***s little boys.

 

Q: What does Michael have in common with NASA?

A: It's been 25 years since his first moon landing.

 

It was reported the other day that Michael Jackson wants to be one of the first civilians to travel into space.

A spokesperson for NASA said, "We're fine with the idea but the only problem is Jackson insists on coming back".

 

Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite holiday?

A: Christmas because he gives the well behaved kids a special gift...

 

Q: What does Micheal Jackson eat after his Chrismas dinner?

A: An under eight.

 

Q: Where's Michael going on holiday?

A: He's off to Tampa with the kids.

 

Q: Why were Michael Jackson's pants so small?

A: They belonged to somebody else.

 

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?

A: They both have small boys pants at half off!

 

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?

A: They both wait 3 months after the child is born to give piercings.

 

Q: Why did Michael Jackson go to K Mart?

A: He heard they had small boys pants half off.

 

Q: What does Michael Jackson think of when he sees a boy in a McDonald's suit?

A: A happy meal.

 

McDonald's is bringing out a new "Michael Jackson Burger"...

It has 35 year old meat inside 5 year old buns.

 

The new burger at McDonald's is called the McJackson.

It consists of matured beef between two fresh white buns.

 

Q: Why does Michael Jackson not like eating at Taco Bell?

A: Because he doesn't want to think outside the bun.

 

Q: What did Michael Jackson order at the Chinese restaraunt?

A: Sum Yung Boy!

 

Q: What do Michael's rear and an LA jail have in common?

A: Both hold the juice.

 

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?

A: Because they aren't his!

 

Q: Why does Michael Jackson want to move to Ohio?

A: He heard there's a Youngstown there.

 

Q: What's Micheal Jackson's Chinese name?

A: Melikeemyoung.

 

Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson was taken to the Emergency Room?

A: He was choking on a small bone!

 

Q: Did you hear about the new McDonalds McJackson sandwich?

A: It's a 35 year old slab of meat between two 12 year old buns.

 

Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?

A: They're both 30 year old meat between 10 year old buns!

 

Q: How many times does 12 go into 35?

A: Ask Michael Jackson.

 

Q: What's 6 + 46 + 5?

A: A threesome with Michael Jackson.

 

Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year old boyfriends?

A: Because there are twenty of them!

 

An engineer, a lawyer and Michael Jackson are all asked the same question, "What is 2+2?".

The engineer says, "Well, it is almost 4, but never actually reaches it."

The lawyer says. "Hm, case files seem to say it is 4."

Then they looked at Michael figuring he would get it wrong, then he said, "That's easy! The age of the boys I like!"

 

Q: How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. Michael Jackson only screws little boys!

 

Q: Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?

A: He doesn't mind reaching bottom.

 

Q: What's soft and brown and sometimes found in little boy's diapers?

A: Michael Jackson's hand!

 

Q: What's the worst stain to try and remove from little boy's underpants?

A: Michael Jackson's makeup.

 

Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?

A: His other hand.

 

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster?

A: The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.

 

 

 

 

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