bad news from doctor

[Helions]

a doctor says to his patient, "i have bad news and worse news, which do you want first?"

 

the patient says, "i want the bad news first"

 

the doctor says, "you're going to die in 24 hours"

 

the patient looks dumbfounded and exclaims, "how could it get any worse than that?!?!"

 

the doctor says, "i've been trying to tell you since yesterday but couldn't reach you..."

[ness]

good joke... pretty funny!

[Helions]

good joke... pretty funny!

 

post some funny doctor jokes if you have any

[Andrey]

[Quantum Media LLC]

THOSE WERE GREAT!!!! I got my family doctor one day. I got this HUGE bull nose ring and clipped it "down south" where they grow "tea" and put them in "bags" lol its was just a clip on, but when he went to do my physical, he did the whole drop yer drawers turn and cough... but when the pants fell, he bout fell out of his chair!!!! lol

[rieLoves7]

hahaha. those were really funny!

[karath]

<patient> Doctor, can I get a second opinion?

<Doctor> Come back tomorrow.

 

<Patient> Doc, I accidently swallowed a film roll!

<Doc> Let's wait and see what develops.

 

I'll think of more later.

[Quantum Media LLC]

Karath, that one was funny about the film

[Richfilth]

IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, DONT READ THIS!

 

A guy waddles into the doctor's surgery, and refuses the chair offered him. "What's wrong?" asks the doc.

The guy blushes, stammers, and then, sighing, says "Im a zoo attendant. It's the mating season, you know, and I, err, I got raped by one of the elephants."

 

"That shouldn't be as bad as it sounds," comforts the doc. "I studied anatomy at uni, and they told us elephant penises were comparable in size to a humans. Let's take a look at the damage," gesturing the man to unbelt his trousers and bend over the desk.

 

"JEEZUS CHRIST!" he exclaims, looking at the bloody torn flesh. "How on earth did he do THIS much damage to you?"

 

"He fingered me first," moaned the man.