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Footballing definitions

 

 

 

Football: A game consisting of 22 skilled players, one impartial referee, two

eagle eyed referee's assistants and one stupid ball.

Teammate: Another person that you have to dribble around

Fans: Two sets of abusive referees

Offside: The Bermuda Triangle area of the pitch where "innocent" players are

drawn towards.

Scoring: When 11 men spontaneously start dancing and kissing, regardless of

any injuries, whilst 11 others droop like wallflowers

Striker: Faultless, overpaid, box hogging lay about whom only misses the goal

when he is fed a bad ball

Defender: Player who's function is to commit fouls just outside of the penalty

area

Ball: Round object used by referees to entice players into committing fouls.

 

 

 

 

 

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