wwe9112 Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 An eighty-five-year-old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly as a result of her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and a master bath suite with a sauna and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied. "This is heaven." Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course would change to new one that represented one of the great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" Peter's reply: "This is heaven; you play for free." Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven; it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation. "Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly. Peter lectured, "That's the best part: You can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is heaven." With that, the old man threw down his hat, stomped on it, and shrieked wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!" I get most of my jokes from funny.com
Andrey Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 HAHAHAHAHAHA another good one... I loveeee allll of these jokes, but ima stop scamming. Im just going to read them without replying. lol but they r realllyyy funny for the reference! Blasted bran muffins....hahaha
naynesh Posted August 15, 2007 Posted August 15, 2007 lollolololololol good one where do you get jokes like that
l0n3r Posted August 16, 2007 Posted August 16, 2007 That's so funny! Dude wanted to die of old age! lol. "It's all free"
santa Posted August 30, 2007 Posted August 30, 2007 lol that is funny!!! Ha Ha Stupid old man heaven is free!!
XPlumpedXLipsXandXArsenicX Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 rotflamo. Gah, I hate chat speak. But still, hilarious.
multipleoranges45 Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Well, you can't see that one coming, that's for sure! ---------------- Listening to: Muse - Map of the Problematique via FoxyTunes
JimBOB Posted December 19, 2007 Posted December 19, 2007 Holy, I did NOT see that coming! Lol. I'm gunna share that one around... Still laughing...
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