Some Football (Soccer) Laughs!!!!!!!!!!

[Prashant Bhandari]

Starting off with the Gunners!!!!!!

Arsenal

 

Two Gunners fans are on the plane on the way to Holland.

One turns to the other and says "Hey Arthur! See if this plane turns upside-doon will we fall out?"

"No way Richard," says his mate "of course we'll still be pals!!"

 

 

 

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice.

 

 

 

Q: What is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?

A: The tea stays in the cup longer!

 

 

 

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit?

A: The accused.

 

 

 

How did you enjoy your holiday in Israel?'

'Smashing!'

'Did you visit the Wailing Wall?'

'Yes - but I couldn't get anyway near it for the Arsenal supporters!'

 

Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly?

A: So blind people could laugh at them too!

 

 

 

Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv.

 

Suddenly one man turns to the other and says "The Gunners have lost again."

The other man was flabbergasted and said "how in the name of god do you know that?"

The other man replied "It's quarter to five."

 

 

 

Q: What do you call 100 Arsnal supporters at the bottom of a cliff?

A: A good start!

 

 

 

Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet?

A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest.

 

 

 

The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in.

Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.

In the distance a voice shouts out "Arsenal" are good enough to win the European Cup."

Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

 

 

 

Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?

A: Nice tattoo

 

 

 

Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan that does well on an IQ test?

A: A cheat.

 

Q: Why do housewives love Arsenal?

A: Because they stay on top for ages and come second!

 

 

 

Chelsea!!!

 

Every time Big Roger attends a Chelsea game he books 2 seats.

One to sit in, the other to throw when the fightin starts.

 

 

 

Two blokes were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read:

"Here lies John Sweeney, a good man and a Chelsea fan."

So, one of them asked the other: "When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?"

 

 

 

Q. Two Chelsea fans jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?.

A. Who gives a F**K!

 

 

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a Chelsea Fan with a pig?

A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do.

 

 

 

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon?

A: A Problem.

 

Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon?

A: An even bigger problem.

 

Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon?

A: Problem solved

 

 

 

Q: How do you define 144 Chelsea fans

A: Gross Stupidity

 

 

 

Q: Why did Chelsea go on the stock exchange?

A: To prove that crap can float.

 

 

 

Q: What is the difference between Gianfranco Zola and a mini?

A: A mini can only carry three passengers.

 

 

 

Q. Why do Chelsea fans whistle whilst sitting on the toilet?

A. So they know which end to wipe!

 

 

 

I've heard that Stamford Park has arguably the best pitch in the Premiership. Well...not entirely suprising considering all the [bleeped!] that has been on there.

 

 

 

Q: What's the difference between a Chelsea supporter and an Onion?

A: No one cries when you chop up a Chelsea fan!

 

 

 

Q: What do Chelsea keepers and SInger Michael Michael Jackson both have in common?

A: Both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

 

 

 

Q: What does Claudi Ranieri say when Chelsea score?

A: Fantastic. Now let us try to get goal at other end of pitch.

[Rayepen]

lol