IF YOU'RE UNDER 18, DONT READ THIS!
A guy waddles into the doctor's surgery, and refuses the chair offered him. "What's wrong?" asks the doc.
The guy blushes, stammers, and then, sighing, says "Im a zoo attendant. It's the mating season, you know, and I, err, I got raped by one of the elephants."
"That shouldn't be as bad as it sounds," comforts the doc. "I studied anatomy at uni, and they told us elephant penises were comparable in size to a humans. Let's take a look at the damage," gesturing the man to unbelt his trousers and bend over the desk.
"JEEZUS CHRIST!" he exclaims, looking at the bloody torn flesh. "How on earth did he do THIS much damage to you?"
"He fingered me first," moaned the man.